


Sound of Silence

by Comixgal



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: ASL, Alcohol, Alternate Universe, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, BDSM, M/M, Past Abuse, mute character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-23
Updated: 2014-09-15
Packaged: 2018-02-10 03:12:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 16,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2008734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Comixgal/pseuds/Comixgal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tech industry AU. Skye, Fitz, and Simmons all work in an R&D think tank and research lab. Grant Ward joins the group.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Leo Fitz**

“There was a new person at this morning’s briefing.” Jemma said brightly. “He was very handsome.” She watched the curly head twitch in his version of a shrug as his hands continued to work on something tiny and delicate. “He’s going to be on May’s team. He’s a former soldier or something.”

There was that twitch again. Fitz didn’t care about former soldiers; everyone on May’s team had seen combat. That was the point of them. It was ridiculous to focus on ending war without people who knew the reality of it. He sometimes wished his labmates were as silent as he was.

As if on cue, Skye bounced into the lab. “What did you think of the new guy?” She immediately asked. “You should have seen him, Leo, just your type. Big, strong, broad shoulders, completely kissable lips.”

“I liked him.” Jemma wandered over to watch Fitz’s small movements with a soldering iron. “He didn’t seem like the last one. What was his name? The one who washed out?”

“Craig something?” Skye provided, eyes sparkling at the frustrated hitch of Fitz’s shoulder.

The young man knew they were teasing him. They knew full well what the man’s name was, they just wanted to get under his skin.

Skye giggled at his raised eyebrow. “Gagne! That was it. Craig Gagne. That guy was a mansplaining asshat. New guy has brains and a nice body. Seems to understand the tech as well as the strategy. Hates war as much as May and Coulson. I think he’s serious about our goals.”

“I heard that he used to work with them. You know, before Coulson got Stark to bankroll this group.”

Fitz was finally done with his circuit board. He put it carefully into a static-free box and brought it back to his other desk. When he turned around, his fingers flew, _\-- I don’t care about the new guy. Don’t you have better things to do than gossip? The clean water project is going to fall behind. --_

“New guy’s name is Grant Ward.” Skye provided.

 _\-- I DON’T CARE--_ He made his signs big and emphatic.

“Geez, no need to shout.” Jemma teased. She kissed his cheek. “We’re working on the purification method, I promise. Skye’s simulations are almost complete and I’m just waiting for the results to build the new filters. Coulson will want to speak to you since you missed the meeting to finish your circuit.”

Leo was already changing out of his work lab coat into the one that had the company logo on the sleeves and his credentials clipped to the pocket. None of the scientists wore their standard-issued coats for actual work; the sleeves were too long, there weren’t enough pockets, and having something dangling from your chest was inconvenient.

Fitz trailed his hands across the granite walls as he walked.

The end of the lab wing was marked by a change from stone floor to carpet. Stone didn’t show as much damage when chemicals and other materials were occasionally dropped. This central hub had huge, computer filled rooms that resembled war chambers. Analysts kept an eye on the entire world while also trying to figure out where best to send their resources.

Fitz didn’t pretend to understand or care about their work. He preferred to spend his days working on projects for the betterment of mankind -- let the bureaucrats decide on their uses. They never worked on weapons and that was enough for him.

Coulson’s assistant waved him in.

“Dr. Fitz, anything to report?” Coulson looked up from his desk with a smile.

Fitz sent his response to the man’s intranet message system: **No, sir. Circuit is finished and ready to be added to the bot. Please don’t blow her up again, she’s not created for mine diffusion. I already built you one of those.**

“I’m sorry about that. I’ve spoken to the team, they’ll be more careful this time.”

**Thank you, sir.**

Coulson removed his glasses to look at the young genius. “Have you met Grant, yet? He’s new to May’s group.”

Fitz barely suppressed his sigh and eyeroll. **No, sir. More important things.**

“Please take the time to meet him. He’ll be May’s second-in-command.”

**Yes, sir.**

“Dismissed, doctor.” Coulson went back to his own work.

Fitz grimaced at the military manner; Phil was normally better about that. He rarely spoke to the scientists and civilians in the same brusque manner as he did the former soldiers. Leo resisted the urge to click his heels together before leaving the office.

He might as well make good on his promise to go meet this Grant person. The Strategy and Testing wing sat at a ninety-degree turn from R&D. Their poured concrete floor had flecks of blue mixed in, unlike R&D’s green. In contrast to their clean, white-walled labs, May had requested that her wing be mostly rooms with large screens and comfortable chairs. The hall was shorter, making space for the various testing pods that could be accessed by a covered walkway.

Fitz knocked against the open doorway. A number of heads popped up from the central pit. They waved at him and one pointed to the back of the room.

“White Coat to see you.” Someone shouted.

Fitz nodded his thanks and headed to May’s usual workspace. The woman uncurled herself from her chair. “Fitz. Did Coulson send you?”

He nodded.

“To meet Ward?”

He nodded again.

May gave an apologetic smile, “He’s out doing the last of his paperwork for the hiring. You can meet him later. How are my girls?”

Fitz gave in to his desire to roll his eyes but his easy smile took out the sting.

“Driving you crazy, then?”

_\-- Yes!--_

“Business as usual, then?”

_\-- Unfortunately.--_

“That’s the price of brilliance, I guess.”

Fitz shook his head at that particularly biased comment. May, Jemma, and Skye were one of the stranger relationships that occurred in this building.

_\-- I have work to do.--_

“Come back later, Grant will be here.”

_\-- Send him to find me. I don’t have time for this.--_

“You’ll like him.”

Fitz threw his arms into the air before walking away.

***

The rest of the day was spent in the machine room, working with the vacuum molds to create chassis for his newest fleet of constructs. When the last of the aluminum molds was created, Fitz shook himself and remembered that he hadn’t gotten around to eating lunch. With a sigh, he took the shuttle back into town and caught the bus home.

Fitz loved his apartment. He’d specifically chosen this location because the condo association promised a quiet space. After dinner, he changed into a tighter pair of jeans, a dark blue button-down shirt, and restyled his hair.

Grabbing his jacket, he went outside to find the car he’d ordered earlier already waiting for him.

“Evening, Dr. Fitz. Hop in.” The chauffeur opened the door and didn’t speak another word until they’d arrived at the club. “Have a good evening, sir.”

Fitz smiled. He would have a car pick him up later when he was ready to go home.

Inside Knots & Bolts, the music was loud enough to make talking pointless. The bass notes vibrated the bar as Fitz waited for the bartender to notice him.

“Not your usual night! I thought you didn’t like coming here on Monday.” The tall woman teased while handing over his usual. “Looking for something new?”

Monday nights were notoriously the fresh-meat night. Fitz didn’t recognize most of the leather clad people playing at being part of the scene. He actively sneered at the pale-faced, vampire wannabes who thought coming to Knots & Bolts would up their street cred.

“I’ve got my eye on that dancer.” She pointed to one of the plinths along the edges of the room. In the cage on top, a tall, chiseled body was writhing to the music.

Fitz pointed to the man, then to himself and lifted his drink. With a nod of understanding, she said, “I’ll give it to him when he comes down.”

Paying for the drinks and leaving his usual generous tip as a thank you, Fitz went to find somewhere to watch the gyrating man.

There was a joy in the socially acceptable voyeurism of watching a sexy body dance in public. The scientist found himself wondering whether the man was here with someone and what his more private preferences might be. The dancer wasn’t wearing any clear paraphernalia to indicate anything other than his desire to have a good time. Fitz shrugged to himself, too bad.

A few songs later, the dancer stepped backwards and made his way down the ladder. Fitz watched him approach the bar for a much-needed drink. Jamie, the bartender, flirted outrageously while she poured both a large glass of water and some sort of beer. She refused his money and pointed towards Fitz.

The man raised his glass in thanks, a move that Fitz mirrored. Another sweaty dancer approached the bar, said something to the man, and his attention was effectively off Fitz.

The young scientist’s silence was a useful tool when large, contemptible men thought they were doing him a favour by inviting him into their beds. He watched them coolly, radiating his disapproval and not even caring when they called him a twinky little bitch.

The car was waiting to drive him home. Fitz sank gratefully into the comfortable seats and let the noise of the club melt away into the distance. Tonight hadn’t been a total bust. It had effectively reduced his boredom and he had a new fantasy to fuel the rest of his evening. 

~~~~~~~~

**Grant Ward**

The music had done its job. The loud, thumping bass reverberated through his skull, emptying it of the last week’s stress. Moving, unpacking, starting a new job, and meeting so many new people had put a lot of pressure on him.

The free drinks afterwards had been a pleasant bonus. And his sweat-soaked shirt provided a perfect excuse to avoid the men and women that threw themselves at him. He really wished he’d had a chance to speak with Curly-Hair; he’d seemed out of place with the clientele at the club. Ward had wanted to drink in the aura of quiet calm around him.

Waving goodbye to the new friends he’d made that evening, he headed home.

***

May was waiting for him outside his apartment. “Ready?” She was dressed for running.

Ward sighed, “You’re not giving me much of an option.” He did a few warmup hops.

She grinned. “You’re the one who chose an apartment less than three miles from the complex. We can bike in from time to time, if you’d like. Now let’s go.” She took off, not waiting for him to be ready.

He laughed and moved to follow.

“Have a good night, last night?” May asked.

It was a good thing they were running and he was slightly out of breath. May could be like a human lie detector when they were just talking. “Didn’t do much, really. Tried to relax.”

She glanced sidelong at him. “We need to get you out. Come out with us Thursday night.”

“Who is us?”

“Me, Jemma, Skye, and some others. We always go out to the club on Thursday. You’ll come with us?”

“Sure.” He shrugged. It wouldn’t hurt to get to know other clubs in the area.

May led him through a side door where they could simply scan their badges instead of chatting to a security guard. “Join me in the shower?” She asked, smiling up at him.

He laughed, “I think I’ll save ‘sleeping with the boss’ for a little later.”

“Your loss.” She shrugged and headed into one of the bathrooms.

Ward grabbed his towel and chose the next available door.

***

Ward impressed everyone by remembering their names and positions within the group. “I have an eidetic memory for names and faces. Once I’ve been introduced, I never forget.”

“Creepy.” Skye opined.

“Actually, it’s quite fascinating,” Jemma added, “it’s a type of hyperthymesia - that’s superior autobiographical memory, but it’s localized; more easily storing short term information about names and faces into long term memory. Really quite remarkable.”

Ward blushed at being described like that. He let the conversation continue around him until Coulson cleared his throat.

“Alright, team, it’s 9:00 am, let’s get started.”

The door opened and a white-clad body moved frenetically as it stalked to an empty chair.

It was Curly-Hair! He was clearly annoyed about something.

“Dr. Fitz, thank you so much for gracing us with your presence.” Coulson said.

Curly-- Dr. Fitz glowered, crossed his arms on his chest, and sunk into the chair.

Coulson kept the meeting blissfully short, briefing everyone on their current projects and then releasing them to return to work.

May grabbed Ward’s arm and pulled him toward Skye, Jemma, and Dr. Fitz. “Grant Ward, this is Leo Fitz.”

The scientist’s eyes widened ever so slightly, betraying his recognition. He looked Ward up and down, shook the offered hand once, and then left without saying a word.

“Don’t mind him!” Jemma laughed awkwardly. “He’s normally a bit nicer but something must have happened in the lab. Don’t worry, though. He’ll warm up to you.”

Or he’ll avoid me forever so that no one else learns that he was at an alternative-style club last night.

Ward made the appropriate noises, saying he wasn’t bothered and that it didn’t matter.

Skye clung to his arm. “Join us for lunch! We normally eat outside. And it’s a beautiful day.” She smiled so winningly that he couldn’t refuse.

“That sounds wonderful. Just let me know when you decide to go.” He let May lead him back to their room.

~~~~~~

**Leo Fitz**

So the dancer from last night was Grant Ward. They were right, the man was exactly his type. Maybe. Not that any of that mattered now. The Strategy and Testing team had once again ruined one of his bots and it would take him days to fix it. The idiot that thought his desert walker should be tested in the swamp pod should be drawn and quartered. The beta model wasn’t waterproof!

He’d walked into the lab that morning to a pile of twisted metal and virtually unsalvageable mechanics. The testing notes beside it had sent him into fits.

After making some final remarks on the notes and checking, yet again on what was left of the bot, Fitz flung himself out of the lab.

“Uh oh, Hurricane Fitz.” One of the analysts said. “I wonder who’s getting it this time.”

It wasn’t entirely his imagination that a sigh of relief went up through the hub as he passed through it into S&T.

He knocked angrily on the door before barging in. He spun around, looking for any human upon which to unleash his anger; preferably one of the idiots who had tested (and destroyed) his beautiful baby.

Ward stood up from a table at the back. “Can I help you, Doctor?”

Fitz gestured to the rest of the empty room.

“Oh, they’re all getting read the riot act. Something about reading specs properly? I don’t know. I think I was spared it because I wasn’t here last week. May doesn’t want to scare me too soon.”

The scientist tossed the report at the man, threw his hands in the air, and stormed out of the room.

Melinda May caught up with him just as he was leaving the wing. “Fitz. I’m so sorry. I saw the report this morning. Coulson’s furious about the lost tech. And I know you’re angry too.”

He gave her his best “No, REALLY?!?” face and kept walking.

“Hey!” May grabbed his shoulder. “What have we said about that? You promised you’d stop taking out every little disappointment on me and the girls.”

She was right. Fitz took a deep breath and turned to her. _\-- I’m sorry. That’s just weeks of work down the drain. And it’s only Tuesday. Can this week get any worse? If I try to rebuild her, I’ll fall behind on the other projects.--_

“I put the fear of god into them. They’ll stop trying to be clever and stick to the testing protocols. And don’t worry about the desert walker, we’ll have one of the other White Coats modify a mine diffuser based on your specs and upload the programming from the server. We’ll test with that and let you know how it goes. We need your brilliance on the current projects. ”

He bobbed his head in agreement. _\-- Sorry again.--_

“I know. Are you coming out with us on Thursday?”

He nodded.

“Good! I really think we need to find you someone to spend quality time with. You haven’t been this testy in a long time.”

The hand-signal he made was not ASL but it didn’t need to be; she understood exactly what he was saying. She laughed. “Right back atcha.”

***

Skye cornered him later that afternoon. “Hey, buddy. You missed lunch. Grant’s going to think you’re avoiding him.”

He shrugged. He wasn’t in charge of Mr. Handsome’s feelings. There’d been stuff to do and eating was low on his list of priorities. Now, though, his stomach was rumbling and a snack would be good. _\-- I’m going to get something to eat and maybe a cup of coffee. Want anything?--_

“Nah. I want to finish up this piece of code. I’m getting an infinite loop somewhere and it’s overwriting an array in the worst possible place. I need to fix it.”

_\-- Let me know if you want me to take a look--_

“Oh, you know I will! No one debugs better than you.” She kissed his cheek. “Now go get food before you’re too grumpy to work with.”

Fitz walked to the small kitchenette on their hall and grimaced at the lack of coffee and snacks. He’d have to go to the larger kitchen upstairs.

He was sitting at one of the small tables, sipping his coffee and looking out of the window when someone cleared their throat. He turned around to find Ward holding a cup of tea and an apple.

“Hi.” Ward smiled shyly. “Are you staying long? Can I join you?”

Fitz looked around for someone, anyone who could explain to Ward that Fitz didn’t talk. He must have looked like he was trying to avoid the man because Ward backed up a few feet. “Nevermind. I just- uh- I wanted to come by and thank you for the drink.”

Fitz sighed as Ward fled down the hall. Smooth, you idiot, very smooth. You left your cards in your nice lab coat and now Ward probably thinks you hate him.

~~~~~~

**Grant Ward**

 

Stupid, stupid, stupid. Bringing that up at work? What were you thinking?!? Ward berated himself as he walked back to his office.

“Everything okay?” May asked as she watched Ward bite rather angrily into his apple.

“I think I said something wrong to Dr. Fitz. I don’t think he likes me.”

She chuckled. “You just met him. He takes a little while to warm up to folks. I think you two will get on famously.”

Ward wasn’t so sure. The man hadn’t spoken a single word to him. That went beyond just “taking a while to warm up.”

“Besides, we destroyed one of his babies. And not in an acceptable way. It’s fine if we find flaws in a design but we drowned a desert machine. We’re lucky the entire swamp pod didn’t get electrocuted. I don’t know what Red Team was thinking.” She sighed. “I’m giving them all a few days off. They’ll work from home and stay out of Coulson’s way. By the time they come back, we’ll either have a new success or a completely different failure to worry about.”

Ah, that explained the sudden disappearance of a few of the people he’d seen that morning. He picked up the stack of briefs from his desk and settled into a chair to read through them. He spent the rest of the afternoon making notes on his Starkpad and preparing notes for their next meeting.

***

Wednesday passed rather easily. Dr. Fitz was once again absent from lunch though Dr. Simmons was quick to reassure him that “Our Leo is just so single-minded sometimes. He forgets about lunch and is a crab all afternoon. We tried to pull him away but he was in the middle of a test.”

“I hear you’re coming out to the club with us tomorrow.” Skye changed the subject. “Are you single? Can we set you up with someone?”

“I, uh-” How to explain that he’d come out of a terrible relationship recently and even if he was looking, the type of relationship he was looking for wasn’t exactly… traditional.

“Are you into men or women?” Skye continued without waiting for an answer. “I mean, not that it matters, the club caters to all kinds, just curious.”

Jemma hit her lightly in the arm. “Don’t mind Skye. Just wear something tight and sexy.”

Ward agreed, if only to avoid answering more questions.

***

May and Ward had meetings scheduled all of Thursday. By the end of the day, he was dragging. “You can’t seriously expect me to go to a club after today.”

“Trust me, Grant, looking forward to the club is the one thing that gets me through all those meetings without bashing someone’s head in. You’re definitely coming. I’ll pick you up at seven.”

With a sigh, he went home to shower, eat, and change. As usual, May was five minutes early. Skye and Simmons were sitting in the car, discussing the latest results of some test when he hopped into the car.

Sitting in the car with Melinda May at the wheel brought back a lot of memories, not all of them pleasant. He hoped the club would have strong drinks and loud music because he really needed to lose himself in something else.

“Here we are!” Skye laughed. “Now don’t be alarmed by the name or the clientele. It’s a nice place, I promise.”

Ward looked up at the sign. “Knots & Bolts.”

May gave him a funny look. “Well, come on in. Let’s get one of the quieter tables before it gets too crowded.”

He followed them in, taking in the differences between this night and Monday. The average age seemed to have gone up about ten years. There was a lot more leather andmore people wearing collars that weren’t just part of a costume. The music was still loud and Jamie was still bartending.

Ward excused himself to the bathroom.

On his way back, he stopped by the bar. As he waited to order, a large burly man pressed into his personal space.

“Well, aren’t you sexy! New here? I don’t know if you sub but I would love to spend time spanking that tight ass of yours.”

Ward was completely taken aback by the guy’s manner.

“Well? Whadya say, boy?” The man frowned at him. He turned aside suddenly as a small body slid around him.

Ward instinctively took the two drinks that were handed to him. Fitz nodded to the other man and turned back to Ward, eyebrows raised. “Fitz! Great. You got our drinks.” He watched Fitz nod regally once more and lead the way to their table. “Thank you!” Ward said gratefully. “That guy was--” He stopped, realizing that Fitz wasn’t listening.

“Oh goodie! Drinks!” Jemma exclaimed, reaching out for one. “Which one’s mine?”

Fitz jerked his head at Ward’s right hand and Grant immediately proffered the drink.

“Hold on a minute.” Ward said. All eyes turned to him. “If you’re not ashamed of buying me a drink on Monday, why the hell have I been getting the silent treatment all week?”

The scientist stared at him wide-eyed then blinked. Jemma, Skye, and May were laughing as if he’d told the best joke. Fitz carefully put down his two drinks and rifled through his coat pockets. He pulled out a stack of cards. Shuffling through them, he found the one he wanted. Ward squinted to read it in the dim light.

_**I’m mute.**_

“Oh. Wait. Really?”

Fitz flipped the card over.

_**Yes, really.**_

His smile was dazzling and Ward felt himself fall into the laughing blue eyes. “Everyone says that?”

Fitz nodded.

Jemma had sobered. “No one at work told you that Fitz doesn’t speak?”

“No. I just thought he was avoiding me.”

“Fitz wouldn’t do that!” Skye said. “For someone who doesn’t talk, he’s not shy about expressing himself. If he’s mad at you, you’ll know it.”

Fitz tapped May’s shoulder. _\-- Tell him I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to come across as angry.--_

May repeated the words aloud for Ward.

“That’s okay.”

Fitz beamed at him again, pleased that Ward had spoken directly to him; not falling into the common pattern of speaking to May as if Fitz needed an interpreter.

“Hey now.” Skye interjected. “You came on Monday and didn’t tell us?” She punched her labmate’s arm. “You hate newcomer Monday.”

 _\-- Normally, it’s awful. But you should see Mr. Handsome dance. --_ He blushed. _\-- Don’t tell him I said that. --_

Skye turned to Ward. “So you were here on Monday?”

He nodded. “Before I moved here, a friend of mine told me about it. I wanted a night out to blow off some steam so I thought I’d try it out. I like their drinks and their music is good.”

“The music is great!” Skye jumped up. “Let’s dance!” She dragged Ward out of his seat.

Jemma spun around. “You bought him a drink?” She hissed. “You never buy people drinks.”

Fitz pointed at the glass in front of her.

“People you don’t know!”

Fitz shrugged.

“You’re attracted to him?” May asked.

He shrugged again, really not in the mood to get into this conversation.

May grabbed his shoulders and forced him to look at her. “I don’t know why he left the east coast but I know things ended badly with his last relationship. He saved my life just as many times as I saved his and, so help me, if you hurt him, I will end you.”

Fitz shook off her grip. _\-- Is he attracted to men? Is he into BDSM?--_ He didn’t respond to her death threat.

“His friend happened to mention a club that has advertised leather and bdsm nights and it didn’t even faze him. I’m guessing yes.” Jemma pointed out.

_\-- Top or bottom?--_

They all turned to watch him dancing with Skye. Jemma noticed immediately that he was following her lead. May saw him carefully moving between Skye and the more rowdy dancers who were trying to crowd into her space.

“Switch?” Jemma guessed. “Good at protecting. Good at following.”

Fitz shrugged. He had no intention of pursuing a man he worked with. That couldn’t end well.


	2. Chapter 2

**Grant Ward**

Grant was energized the next morning. May was right, going to the club had been exactly the stress relief he needed. He’d had precisely two drinks, danced with Skye and some people she introduced him to, and then rested companionably in the booth while they all talked (and signed) around him.

“That was great.” He told May as they jogged into work. “You go every Thursday?”

She nodded. “Whenever we can.”

“What about other nights? You said Monday was newcomers?”

“Most nights have a theme. Tuesday is goth night.” She gagged, “Wednesday is couples night, Thursday is dancing, Friday is a bit more of a hardcore BDSM crowd.” She pretended not to see the strange shiver that ran through Ward. “Anyway, Thursdays are a regular night. Fridays have a lot more leather and PVC. Saturday during the day, they do classes and workshops. In the evenings they bring in a DJ. Sunday they turn it into a wine bar. The music is more low-key and they have performances.”

“What kind of performances?”

She looked over at him, “The kind you might expect at a club like that. Sometimes it’s cabaret, and sometimes it’s hardcore bondage and sadomasochism. There’s a program available if you join their mailing list.”

“Oh.” Ward focused on his breathing. “So you only go on Thursdays?”

May smirked at the pretended non-chalance, “I go when the mood strikes me. Or us.”

“You play with Jemma, Fitz, and Skye?”

The woman again pretended not to notice that Ward had buried Fitz’s name in the middle. She’d seen how the two of them had been studiously avoiding eye-contact all evening. “Skye’s an amazing switch. Jemma never subs. She’s the only person I trust when I need to give over control.”

“Jemma?” Ward was momentarily surprised then thought about the young woman’s general demeanor. “And when you’re not in the mood to scene?”

“The sex is fantastic.” May said immediately. They were still running. She sped up to avoid the next question. Ward kept up, sweat pouring down his face.

Once inside the building, Ward looked around before quietly asking, “Do you have sex with Fitz?”

“No.”

“But he- uh- he scenes?”

“Yes.”

Ward waited for her to say more. When she didn’t, he gave her a look.

“Yes?”

He sighed, “Come on, Melinda. You know exactly what I’m asking.”

She nodded. “I do.”

Did she have to be so aggravating?

“You’re attracted to him?” May wanted to know.

“Right, like that’s not obvious.”

She smirked then sobered. “Well, if I knew your preferences, would you want me to tell him?”

A bright red blush coloured Ward’s ears. “I guess not.” He slipped into one of the shower rooms instead of staying around to discuss this further.

***  
 **Leo Fitz**

 _\-- I am NOT going to ask him out.--_ He insisted to Jemma as they ate lunch.

“Why not?” Jemma wanted to know.

Fitz nodded sarcastically, _\-- Oh yes, that’ll be good for all involved. We won’t work out. --_

The young woman frowned, “You don’t know that. You should ask him.”

_\-- Sure. I’ll just write him a letter. Dear Ward, I know it’s been less than a week but in the fantasies about me that I hope you’re having, am I the one on my knees or are you? --_

The domme shoved him. “I’m sure you could be more subtle.”

 _\-- Quiet. Here comes Mr. Sexy himself.--_ He saw Ward approach over Jemma’s shoulder.

“Afternoon.” Ward sat down. “Last night was great. Are you folks having a good day?” He bit into an apple, some of the juice running down his face.

Fitz made the sign for sexy again, quickly turning it into a mime for biting an apple and juice spilling. He handed Ward a napkin.

 _\-- Give my apologies to him. I have to head back to the lab and if I stay here, watching him eat yogurt again and lick that spoon, I’m going to spend the rest of the afternoon with tight pants.--_ Trusting Jemma to change his words into something more appropriate, he waved goodbye.

Back in the lab, he hit his head against the wall a few times, trying to get thoughts of the other man out of his head. He couldn’t pursue a colleague. He couldn’t destroy the amiable friendship they’d developed.

“Hey. What’s going on?” Skye looked up from behind her computer where she’d been hunched.

_\-- I thought you were having shower sex with May! It’s lunch time on Friday!--_

Skye shook her head. “I’m trying to get these numbers finished for Blue Team’s test run. And May’s taking lunch with Coulson.”

Fitz ignored her initial question and returned to his workspace.

 

***  
 **Grant Ward**

That night, Ward woke up sweating and gasping. The dream was so real, he could still feel himself shouting, could still feel the pain that wouldn’t stop. He didn’t just remember the names and faces, he could remember every single moment of the nightmarish relationship.

He flung himself into the bathroom, throwing on the lights and staring into the mirror. “It’s over. I was scared but I don’t have to be anymore. They hurt me but I survived. I’m not in any danger. I can breathe.” For ten whole minutes he spoke to himself, convincing his mind to stop holding so tightly to the memories.

It took another hour and a shot of vodka to calm him down enough for sleep.

He’d already declined May’s offer of a twenty mile bike ride around the town. It was Saturday morning and he wanted to sleep in after his first week at work.

He tried to think of a good excuse to avoid the “tourist” trip that Jemma had planned for him. He didn’t want to spend time with them this weekend. He just wanted some time alone.

After waking up around nine and heading out for breakfast, he decided to take another nap, hopefully catching up on some lost sleep from the week. A loud knock on his door woke him. He answered it groggily and let himself be shoved aside for his four colleagues to crowd through the door.

“Do I have to?” Ward asked, rubbing his face and hair. “I’m tired.”

“You can’t sleep all day!” Jemma informed him. “We’ve got a great day planned. It’s beautiful outside!”

Ward shrugged and grabbed a light sweatshirt in case it got chilly. “Fine.”

Six hours later, he had to admit that the day had been fun. Jemma had organized a hike, a boat ride down the river, and a meal in the downtown area of the city.

Ward got home exhausted and ready to shower and sleep. Rest came slowly as he considered every moment of interaction between himself and Fitz. Ward wasn’t used to such a quiet person. The man’s presence was soothing in a way Ward hadn’t expected. Ward cherished the moments the man’s eyes had met his; Fitz’s face was more expressive than any Ward had ever met.

Ward knocked his head against his pillow. He was so very, very screwed.

***

**Leo Fitz**

Monday started with their usual meeting and another set of nearly unattainable goals for the R&D labs. 

At lunch, Ward and Skye convinced them all to go dancing that evening.

After lunch, several hands knocked on the lab door. All three techs looked up. Jemma offered a quick, “Come in!”

Ward opened the door and led in a small group of people. “Hi everyone.”

Was it Fitz’s imagination that Ward’s smile was wider for him?

“Skye, Blue Team and I were hoping to go over those numbers with you.”

Their resident computer geek nodded. “Come on over. We can put them up on my screen.”

Fitz went back to ignoring them, focusing on the delicate pieces of gyroscope he was building. Less than twenty minute later, he sensed someone wonder closer to his space. He looked up, just in time to see a blue clad arm reach out-

“Don’t touch that!” His voice rang through the room. Bodies froze.

The errant S&T tech pulled his hand back. “Sorry!”

Ward’s eyes were wide. “Everyone out.” He turned to give Fitz a last, unfathomable look, as he herded his people out the door.

Jemma and Skye immediately rushed to his side.

“Go home.” Jemma ordered. “It’ll be cleared with Coulson by the time you reach the front door. I’ll call a car for you. Just go home and relax.”

Skye was handing him her mug of coffee. “Drink before you start to hyperventilate.”

They both knew how much it took out of him to speak so unexpectedly. The first time it had happened, he’d ended up in medical, fully sedated after a full-blown panic attack.

Fitz took small, quick sips as he focused on breathing. When he was certain he’d be okay, he shut down his space and found his coat. 

Jemma took his arm and walked him bodily out of the building. He knew that she was counting his heartbeats but it didn’t matter. She felt so solid and warm next to him that he was tempted to pull her into the car with him. She would come if he asked. She would take him home, put him to bed, and then cuddle beside him until he fell asleep. All he had to do was look pleadingly at her and she’d cave.

He decided against it. If he pretended to be in such bad shape that he needed her support, she’d make a much bigger deal of the situation than he wanted.

With a quick nod of thanks, he dropped into the car’s back seat. He was still holding Skye’s travel mug and letting the caffeine act like the theophyline in asthma inhalers.

***

Fitz was awake after napping for three hours. He felt a little better, a little more himself. But a phantom ache in his throat made him feel out of sorts. It was in his head, he knew that. He showered, falling into the long-held habit of berating himself for his silence.

The voice in his head sounded like his childhood therapist. “Selective mutism is most often tied to social anxiety. It is nothing to be ashamed of. As long as you maintain friendships and are able to interact with others in healthy ways, I am not concerned.”

His parents hadn’t appreciated the psychologist’s blasé attitude towards their child’s deficiencies. He was strange enough, with his genius-level intelligence, that yet another oddity did not please them.

It was too easy to let their disappointment sour his mood further. They had never bothered learning sign language and consequently, Leo never went home.

His StarkPad was blinking at him, indicating a series of messages he’d missed while sleeping.

Ward: **Are you okay?**

Skye: **Are you coming out tonight?**

Ward: **Jemma says you probably slept for a few hours. Want a cup of coffee?**

Jemma: **How are you feeling? Ward is asking about you.**

Ward: **Fitz? Are you okay? I can bring by anything you need.**

May: **K &B tonight?**

Ward: **Are you going out tonight? If not, I can bring you some dinner before I go.**

Fitz stared at the four messages Ward had sent compared to everyone else’s one. He responded to Jemma first. 

Fitz: **I’m fine. Not coming out tonight. Ward left me four messages.**

The response was almost instantaneous. 

Jemma: **FOUR?! He really likes you.**

Fitz: **He wants to bring me dinner before going to the club.**

Jemma: **Good! You need to eat something.**

The engineer sighed. He brought up Ward’s name. 

Fitz: **Thank you for your concern. I’m not going out tonight but food would be good.**

He waited half an hour for an answer. 

Ward: **So glad you’re feeling better! I’ll bring something by in about an hour.**

Oh good. They absolutely needed to talk. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Leo Fitz**

Ward had texted him that he was on his way. Fitz felt himself vibrating nervously at the thought of seeing the man again. Every time he closed his eyes he could see the way Ward had looked at him earlier that day. There’d been something surprised and, perhaps, a little desirous in Ward’s gaze as he’d led his people out of the lab.

Fitz was waiting at the door for the man’s knock. He opened it with a shy smile, face brightening at the smell of chicken _pad see ew_ emanating from the brown paper bag Ward was holding. He stood away from the door to let the man in.

“Hey.” Ward said quietly. “Feeling better?”

Fitz nodded, taking the bag with a smile and setting it down. _\-- I’m fine. --_

“Good. Jemma said you really liked this place so I figured I’d grab you some.”

Fitz nodded again with a smile. _\-- Thank you. --_ As an aside to himself he signed, _\-- I hope they remembered the chili oil.--_

“I saw them put it in. It’s at the bottom.”

Fitz froze then turned slowly to look at Ward. _\-- You know ASL --_ It wasn’t a question. It was an accusation.

Ward took a step back from the carefully blank look on the man’s face. “Oh shit. Fitz, I’m sorry. I was going to tell you today. Seriously. Well, I was going to have May tell you today.”

Blood drained from the scientist’s face. _\-- Melinda knew. --_ He might vomit. Or scream.

Shit. Shit. Shit. “Don’t blame her. I asked her not to say anything. It was going to be a joke, or I guess, a surprise. You know, since no one told me that you were mute for almost four days.”

Fitz didn’t move. He stared angrily up at Ward who was cringing further back.

“Fitz, I’m so sorry. It wasn’t supposed to happen like this. I’m really, really, sorry.” He made for the door. “I just-” He stopped himself. As he closed the door behind him he looked back at the curly-haired man. “I just really liked when you called me handsome and sexy. I- I needed to hear that. I’m sorry.”

The door shut with a final click.

He wanted to run after the man. He wanted to force him to his knees, punish him, make him beg for forgiveness as Fitz brought his hand down over and over on his perfect ass. And then he wanted to make Ward beg for release. He wanted those desperate moans to wash over him, blunting the edges of his embarrassed fury.

~~~~~~

**Grant Ward**

The anger was too much. Ward half ran, half stumbled back to his apartment. His face felt too hot. The rest of his body felt chilled. He fell through the door, locking it, putting the safety chain up for the first time, and shoving the heavy side table in front of it.

He stared at this configuration, eyes barely seeing until he sobbed and turned to the living room. Numb fingers grasped the bottle of vodka as hard as possible. He realized he wasn’t breathing when the haze of fear in his vision darkened. For a heart-pounding moment, it seemed like he’d forgotten how until he finally took a deep, shuddering breath.

Vodka in hand, he headed towards the bathroom. The buzzing of his phone shook a little awareness into him.

Melinda May: **What happened? Fitz says you ran out.**

Ward ignored it. The woman wasn’t his Commanding Officer anymore. Boss, yes, CO, not so much. He didn’t owe her any answers.

Skye: **Hey dance buddy. Still coming out tonight?**

He wasn’t in any state to go out.

Ward: **Gonna stay home tonight. Sorry. Have fun without me!**

He was grateful for the lack of further communication. He still felt cold. The vodka was shaking a bit in his hand. That was okay. He had a system. Moving with exaggerated care, he dumped nearly half the bottle into a wide-mouthed sports bottle. His grandfather would be turning over in his grave at the thought of drinking _little water_ through a straw. Grant didn’t much care at this point. The first sip sent a curl of warmth through him, making him breathe easier.

The bathroom was soon filled with steam. He stood under the water, talking to himself, repeating a mantra of safety and control. When the water started to cool, he sent himself to bed, sports bottle still in hand and mouth still going over the familiar words. When the bottle was empty, Ward let it fall to the ground. He knew the military psychologist he’d been forced to visit would not approve of this coping mechanism but all Grant wanted was sleep. Blissful, nightmare-less sleep.

The vodka helped.

~~~~


	4. Chapter 4

**Grant Ward**

Ward experienced the downside of his coping system the next morning. He sent an email to work and crawled back into bed.

It was noon when someone rapped briskly on his door.

The former soldier splashed some cold water on his face and leaned over the side table to peer through the viewer. He felt his stomach drop as he watched Phil Coulson adjust his tie and raise his hand to knock again. Grant pushed the side table away, tried three times to remove the safety chain, succeeded, and finally unbolted the door.

“We missed you at work this morning.” Phil said when the door was finally opened.

“I’m sorry, sir. I’m not feeling well.”

Phil continued to stand in the hallway, silently watching Ward.

“Oh, uh, please come in?”

“Thank you.”

Grant watched his boss step into the room, do a fighter’s quick check of all points of entrance and egress before turning back to Ward.

“Nick told me that you’d have yourself under control.”

Blood rushed through Ward’s ears. What had Fury told him about his past?

Coulson continued. “We all have bad days. There are provisions in your contract for needing to take time off if you need to. But this-” He picked up the bottle of vodka from the table, “is not acceptable.”

Ward felt angry and humiliated. He snatched the bottle away. “Thank you, sir.” His voice was tight. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

Coulson looked at him with calm blue eyes. “Did you read the handbook?” He asked. “It clearly states that I visit all of my employees the first few times they call out. There are too many of us with PTSD and anxiety issues for me not to have a system in place. Too many idiots think they can muddle through whatever is going on by themselves.

Grant did remember seeing that in the handbook. He hadn’t believed that Phil Coulson would leave the building he ran to come check on an employee. No one did that. It was ridiculous.

“I’m sorry, sir.”

His boss nodded. “Have you found a psychiatrist here?”

Ward blushed. “No sir. It’s not that easy.”

The man raised an eyebrow, “It’s in your hiring agreement.”

How did he explain that he couldn’t just pick a shrink at random? Not even one experienced with former military?

“I can have May suggest a few that have worked well for her other team members.”

He could feel his ears burning. “Really, sir. I’ll find something myself.”

Coulson looked at him for several long moments. “We have several referral services, including to one of the foremost experts in BDSM and D/S lifestyles.”

There was a table and a couch between the two of them before Coulson had time to take another breath. Ward was staring, wide-eyed and tensed for a fight.

Ward spoke quietly, pretending that he hadn’t just experienced an electrical shock of fear for both his safety and his job. “I don’t know what you’re talking about… sir. I’m not- ” 

Coulson continued as if Grant hadn’t moved. “She helped me and my boy a lot.” The faintest whisper of a smile passed over his face at the memory.

“Your boy?” Ward squeaked.

“His name is Clint. He’s a state trooper and olympic marksman.”

Ward relaxed slightly at the warmth in his boss’s voice.

“And when we’re home, he’s mine.” Coulson didn’t miss the shiver that ran through his newest employee. “Take the rest of the day off. I’m leaving a business card here. Call her if you need to.”

Wary eyes watched him reach into his pocket and pull out the rectangle of paper.

“And Ward?” Phil waited for those eyes to meet his. “Fitz also stayed home today. I’m going to see him next. Is there anything you’d like me to say on your behalf?”

He bit his lip then swallowed a few times. “I doubt he wants to hear anything from me.” He could see the slight disappointment in Coulson’s eyes. “I guess you could just tell him that I hope he feels better soon?” He hadn’t meant to say it as a question.

Coulson nodded. “I will. Now get some rest and no more alcohol. Drink some tea if you need help sleeping.”

“Yes, sir.” Ward responded, suddenly too tired to process the fact that his boss was a fulltime dominant when at home, had either guessed or been told that he was… not interested in vanilla sex, and knew there was something going on between himself and Leo Fitz.

He gratefully closed the door behind the man and went searching for something that would pass as food.

~~~~~~

**Leo Fitz**

Fitz was expecting the doorbell and did not keep Coulson waiting long.

“I’m disappointed in you.” Phil said without preamble. “That man was completely smitten with you and you-”

The scientist rolled his eyes. Who said “smitten” anymore?

“Clint says you’re getting desperate for a relationship.”

Fitz grimaced. Of course Clint had relayed the primary topic of their most recent night out. Fitz enjoyed hanging out with the man who had grown up using ASL due to his hearing difficulties; he heard fine with his aids but was nearly deaf without them. When together, fingers flew more complexly and expressively than either usually had the opportunity to use.

“Don’t give me that look.” Coulson said.

Fitz scowled, _\-- Yes, boss. --_

Coulson sighed. “May is worried too. You’ve been with us for three years now and haven’t had a single relationship that lasted. Whatever is going on between you and Grant Ward needs to be handled.” 

Fitz signed vigorously, anger making his movements sharp. 

“Slow down!” Coulson ordered. “I can’t understand you when you’re like that.” 

_\-- My relationships are none of your business. Not yours. Not May’s. Not anyone’s. Being in a relationship doesn’t make you better than me. And whatever is going on between me and Grant was over before it started. I would like you to leave now. --_

He’d approached this the wrong way. “I’m sorry, Fitz. That’s not what I meant. I just want to see you happy. And I believe that Ward would provide something you’ve been looking for.” 

With a shrug, Fitz sat down. Phil wasn’t the person he was going to speak to about his desire to tie someone up or use the electrical stimulation unit he’d been building. Clint had sworn he’d never share their discussions of Fitz’s numerous and varied kinks. Those stayed between the two of them. 

“I expect to see you back at work tomorrow or a note from Counseling.” 

He knew the drill. If he needed to take more than a day off work for non-sick leave / non-vacation time, then he had to spend an hour with Counseling. 

“Ward says he hopes you’re feeling better.” Coulson knew he was on thin ice, “He stayed home today as well.” 

Fitz watched the man leave without another word. He picked up his StarkPad to send some messages. 

The first was to Clint -  
Fitz: **I’m _not_ desperate for a relationship! **

The second was to Ward -  
Fitz: **I’m sorry.**

He put the Pad down, knowing he was more likely to get responses if he didn’t hover. He grabbed it back up five minutes later when it buzzed several times. 

Clint: **Yes you are.**

Clint: **What the hell is this about?**

Clint: **Phil just texted me. You stayed home today? What happened?**

Clint: **Who is Ward? Is he subby? Ward’s a good subby name.**

He was going to strangle either Clint or Coulson. 

Fitz: **Why can’t all of you stay out of my sex life and leave me alone?**

There was a long pause before the next buzz. 

Clint: **Wise up, you fucking idiot. We don’t give a rat’s ass about your sex life. We care about your _love_ life. **

He stared at the words in stunned shock. Yes, he was definitely an idiot. 

The Pad buzzed again. 

Ward: **Me too.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Leo Fitz**

Fitz: **Can I see you today?**

When there wasn’t an immediate response from Ward, he sent a quick **Please?**

Almost half an hour later, he received a response.

Ward: **Sorry, I took a shower and then went shopping. Left my Pad at home. I’d like to see you today. I’ll make dinner? Want to choose a movie to watch?**

The scientist grinned stupidly at the message. That sounded like Grant was suggesting a date. He realized he’d been daydreaming when another message came through.

Ward: **Is that too much? Did you just want to talk?**

Kicking himself for making the man as nervous as he’d been, he typed out a response:

Fitz: **Dinner and a movie sound amazing. When should I come by?**

Ward: **Any time.**

Maybe the man was as eager to judge their compatibility as Fitz was.

Fitz: **I’ll shower, grab a dessert, and be there in an hour and a half?**

Ward: **Great.**

Still smiling to himself, he put down the Pad to go shower.

**

On his way out the door, he sent a message to Clint.

Fitz: **You’re right. I am an idiot. I’m hanging out with Grant tonight. I’ll message you later.**

Clint: **This “Grant” guy had better be Ward because otherwise I’m going to come over there and kick your idiot ass.**

Fitz laughed.

Fitz: **Grant Ward. He’s making me dinner.**

Clint: **Oooh! Go on, girl! A man who can cook? Sounds like a keeper!**

He laughed again, perfectly able to envision Clint speaking and signing those words with a fabulous flamboyance he generally reserved for performing in drag.

The local gelatto shop was more than happy to pack up a few pints for him.

Ward didn’t live that far away but the gelatto was almost melted by the time Fitz got there. He thrust the bag into Ward’s hands and quickly signed, _\-- That needs to get into the freezer. --_

~~~~~~

**Grant Ward**

A little taken aback by the lack of greeting and the unapologetic order, Ward scooted quickly into the kitchen.

When he returned, Fitz was looking around the apartment with interest. The smaller man smiled brightly up at him, _\-- Sorry about that. I was afraid it would melt completely. --_

“No problem.” He felt warm under Fitz’s approving look. The feeling didn’t last. Leo frowned slightly and his eyes skittered away. “Uh, is something wrong?”

The scientist looked back. _\-- No. Not at all. --_

Ward’s stomach dropped. “Oh, okay. I’ll go check on dinner.” He turned away and consequently missed Fitz rapping himself in the head, berating himself.

Grant spun at the sound and vibrations of Fitz’s foot tapping twice against the floor.

Fitz smiled ruefully, trying to seem less threatening, _\-- I’m sorry, Ward. That was unfair of me. I was just thinking about how much I’d like to see you sign, if that’s okay. And I remembered how I’d acted yesterday. I was mad at myself, just now, not at you. --_

Letting out an explosive breath, Ward stared at him shyly. _\-- It’s been a while since I actually signed._ His fingers were unsteady at first but eased into a gentle fluidity. _\-- My favourite cousin was deaf. He lived right up the street. We learned together. --_

A giant grin split Leo’s face. Ward was articulate and, unlike many who learned to sign later in life, his expressions were strikingly demonstrative. 

Trying not to blush at the look of such obvious validation, Ward spoke and signed, “I’m going to check on dinner. Would you like to see the kitchen?”

Fitz motioned for him to lead the way.

“Since we had time, I’m making eggplant lasagna. I hope that’s okay?”

_\-- Sounds delicious. --_

Ward smiled again.

~~~~~~

**Leo Fitz**

He liked how easy it was to make Grant smile. A few words of praise, supporting his decisions, and simply smiling at him seemed to be all the man needed to relax.

Fitz eased himself into helping out in the kitchen. With a knife in his hands, he couldn’t communicate but Ward seemed just as comfortable in the silence as he was. At Grant’s direction, he chopped vegetables for a salad.

When he was done, he asked for directions to the bathroom.

“Around the corner. First door on the right.”

A small piece of white paper caught his eye. He looked down on it.

_Maria Hill, MD, PhD._

He knew the back would have a number written in Coulson’s precise hand. He’d received a similar card several years ago and still had the number memorized.

He threw a look over his shoulder. If Coulson had given Ward this card and the man hadn’t immediately thrown it away, perhaps there really was hope for them. He went to wash up, imagining Ward coming out of a session with Maria. The man would be worked up and desperately wanting a chance for release. He pictured himself waiting for the dark-haired soldier, opening the car door for him, and then driving them both to somewhere private where Fitz could have his way with a submissive and needy Grant.

“Would you like something to drink?” Ward’s voice pulled him out of his reverie. 

Fitz made a face at the tightness in his pants. He readjusted and opened the door. _\-- A drink sounds great. --_

“Beer?” Ward was still signing and speaking.

_\-- Yes, please. --_

“The lasagna will be ready in half an hour.” The taller man said as he poured two beers.

Fitz accepted the glass and moved to the couch. He loved that Ward immediately set out two coasters for the drinks. The man’s shy smile and shrug of apology made him want to kiss him.

_\-- You really are handsome and sexy. --_ Fitz said after a sip of beer. He knew he was being a little too forward but he wanted to see Grant’s reaction.

He wasn’t disappointed. The former soldier blushed from his chest to his ears, his glance skittering between following Fitz’s fingers and face before looking away.

Fitz tapped his glass to get his attention. _\-- What are you thinking? --_

Ward buried his head into a cushion. He mumbled into soft padding. When Leo touched his shoulder he looked up, “Please don’t say that again.” He was still blushing and couldn’t quite raise his eyes to the scientist’s face.

Fitz felt his stomach drop; it was the same way he felt when someone he was working with used their safeword. He responded the same way. _\-- Okay. I won’t. --_ He smiled slightly to show there were no hard feelings even though his heart was squeezing hard in his chest. It was well worth it when Ward sighed softly and sipped his beer, clearly wanting to move back into the friend-zone of food and libation.

“Thanks.”

Shrugging easily, Leo raised his glass in a small salute.

Ward mimicked the motion. _\-- So tell me more about yourself. --_

Fitz tried to sketch out his past, revealing broad general ideas without any truly personal information behind. It didn’t work. Ward was adept at asking questions that didn’t seem invasive but pulled more information out of him until he’d told Grant more than he would usually have shared with a colleague… or on a first date.

When they’d both finished their drinks, Grant stood up. “Dinner! Will you grab the plates from the counter?”

During the meal, the former soldier easily carried the conversation. Ward spoke about his travels to Europe which Fitz seemed to find fascinating. By the end of their second helpings of food, Ward was even more infatuated by the man’s expressive features and easy sense of humour while Fitz was completely addicted to watching Ward sign.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last of the setup chapters. More angst and then a good helping of smut before we wrap this all up.


	6. Chapter 6

**Leo Fitz**

They spent the next week orbiting around one another in a delicate dance between being colleagues and friends.

The women were either teasingly inappropriate or more quietly supportive depending on their nature. He didn’t need to warn any of them about scaring Grant away.

Fitz made a point now of being free for lunch. It might have been his imagination but Ward was always sitting in a way that faced the door and smiled broadly when Fitz arrived. If they sat a little too close to one another, well, they’d sat that closely after dinner while eating dessert on Ward’s small couch and watching a movie.

The scientist grew very quickly used to having Grant’s larger bulk nearby. At the club, the former soldier would dance with Skye for several songs and then come back to check on them. They grinned broadly at how easy it was to communicate in the loud room when they all used sign language.

At the weekend; less than five days after their fight and reconciliation, Fitz invited Ward out for breakfast. Ward declined, saying he had other plans but would be free for lunch. Agreeing to meet at a local diner, the two parted ways Friday evening.

Suddenly without plans for Saturday morning and knowing that he wouldn’t be able to sleep in, Leo drove himself to Knots & Bolts for their weekly workshop. Today’s was about caring for leather. He paid the $10 entry fee and settled into one of the available chairs.

He was playing with the strips of leather that he’d been handed, slapping them against his palms, twisting them around, and testing the way they felt on his skin. He was so preoccupied with his own thoughts, that he didn’t notice Ward already seated at a table.

“Fitz!” Ward said, surprise colouring his cheeks.

Startled, he looked up to see Ward’s ears turning bright red. _\-- This was your plan? --_

The dark-haired man ducked his head. “Yes.”

_\-- Fantastic. --_ Fitz couldn’t think of a polite way to ask more prying questions about Ward’s preferences. Everyone should know about leather maintenance, so that was no help.

He stopped thinking about it as the workshop started. The instructors were a married couple who ran a store in the next town over. They spent two hours walking them through the steps of cleaning, conditioning, and keeping different types of leather in good working order. They had several examples of floggers that were in dangerous condition, letting them feel weakened or stiff leather and how to avoid it.

When the class was done, Fitz turned to Grant and suggested they keep their lunch plans. With a happy grin, Ward followed him out. It turned out that the man had walked the seven miles to the club and was without a car. They took Fitz’s.

***

It took another twenty days before they kissed. It was the same day Fitz learned that Ward was, indeed, going to see Dr. Maria Hill.

Ward left work right after lunch, stating an appointment he had later that day. He needed to run home, shower, and get his car before driving an hour out of the city.

Fitz, Ward, and May had been walking home together the last two Fridays. Both former soldiers were thrilled at a chance to get the scientist some much-needed cardio exercise. Fitz was disappointed that Ward wouldn’t be around that afternoon and accepted a ride back to his condo from one of the analysts.

He grabbed up his StarkPad the moment it vibrated.

Clint: **Just met Ward. He was in an accident. Don’t worry. Fenderbender. Uninjured. Not at fault.**

Fitz’s heart was already pounding hard and his stomach hurt from worry. He tried calling the state trooper and got no response.

Clint: **At scene of accident. Can’t talk now, idiot! Waiting for tow truck for kid who hit Ward’s car.**

Fitz waited some more.

Clint: **Your boy looks a bit stunned. And fidgety. Drugs?**

Too keyed up to respond to the description of Ward as _his boy_ Fitz typed back quickly: **He’s spent time in warzones. Truck accidents aren’t “accidents.” Adrenaline.**

When there was no further contact for 10 minutes, Fitz tried calling again.

Clint: **Relax! He’s on the phone with Maria. Should have guessed that’s where he was coming from. Sounds like she’s talking him down.**

Not at all able to relax, Fitz grabbed his wallet, some food from his fridge, and headed towards Grant’s apartment. He let himself in with the extra key he’d been given for emergency lock-outs and put the prepared chicken pot-pie in the oven to warm up.

He left a bottle of beer in the fridge and chocolate ice cream in the freezer. On the table in the entranceway he left a note letting Grant know that he’d been there, that there was food in the oven that only needed to be reheated for 20 minutes, and that he’d come back if Ward wanted him to.

Only halfway home, he received a message. Recognizing how ironic it would be if he got into an accident of his own, he glanced quickly at it while at a stop sign. It said: **YES PLEASE!**

He took the next right. Less than five minutes later, he was walking up the steps to the man’s apartment. The door opened and Ward dragged him into the room, crushing him in a tight hug.

Fitz held Grant as close as he could, waiting for him ease the hug first. When the strong arms did loosen, they didn’t entirely let him go. The scientist was more than happy to stay close, enjoying the contact even as he focused on Ward’s uneven breathing.

Eventually, Grant stepped away from him. “How did you know?” He asked, voice rough as if he was trying not to cry.

_\-- The trooper was Clint. --_

Ward looked stunned. “Phil’s Clint?”

Fitz was nodding as he let himself into the kitchen and made sure the oven was set to the correct temperature. He turned back around to sign. _\-- Officer Clint Barton. He texted me a couple updates. Let me know that you were okay. --_ It took all of his strength not to use the facial expression and body language that said, _**You** should have let me know you were okay. _

“I didn’t know you kept tabs on me.” Ward tried to sound like he was joking but it came out both fearful and appreciative.

_\--You’re my friend. --_ Fitz insisted. _\-- I worry about my friends. --_

“You’ll stay and eat with me?”

_\-- Of course! --_ He took Ward by the arm and led him to the couch. _\-- Stay here. Relax. I’ll bring you a beer. --_ He made sure the man did as he was told and then went back to the kitchen.

Ward had his eyes closed when he returned with the drink. Fitz worried that maybe the former soldier needed a nap more than anything but his eyes opened moments later. “Thanks.”

Fitz enjoyed taking care of the worn out Ward. He ate what was put in front of him with obvious appreciation and didn’t seem to mind how closely Fitz sat.

After a bowl of ice cream, Fitz pulled Grant upright and shoved him bodily into the bathroom. _\-- Shower! You’ll feel better. And then you can get some rest. --_

“Will you be here when I get out?” Ward asked dozily.

_\-- Yes. --_ That was an easy promise. He busied himself making the herbal tea that he’d introduced Ward to and now found sitting on the counter as if waiting for him.

He was disappointed to see that Ward had dressed in the bathroom. Hiding his reaction, he motioned for the pajama-clad man to head towards the bedroom.

“You need something from the closet?” Ward asked, grinning.

Still holding the mugs of tea, Fitz grimaced. He’d never been to this part of the apartment and had no idea which door was which. His guess had been wrong.

Ward took one of the mugs from him and walked towards the other door. “It’s a bit of a mess.”

It wasn’t really. Fitz looked around. There was a pile of folded laundry in a basket on the floor and a few pairs of shoes sitting where they’d been haphazardly dropped at some point.

Fitz pointed imperiously to the bed. Ward gave him another tired grin. “Hard to miss that one.” He said. It was true. The king-sized bed took up most of the room.

Taking the mug from Ward, the scientist watched him crawl under the covers. He passed back the tea and made himself comfortable against the headboard.

Ward turned on the tv that hung on the wall. They watched an old heist movie while they drank their tea. When it was over, Fitz turned to look at Ward. The man was staring at him; at his lips and Fitz took the initiative to lean forward. Ward met him halfway. It started chaste and then became something more. There was just the right amount of tongue and when Ward bucked upward at the feeling of teeth nibbling his lower lip, Fitz grinning against his mouth.

They continued to cuddle and make out for a long while until Fitz dropped back down against the pillow. He was still grinning stupidly. _\-- You’re amazing._

Ward smiled shyly.

_\-- Let’s sleep. You’ve had a long day. --_ He could tell that Grant wanted to argue but his eyes were already closing.

Ward mumbled, pulling Fitz back to the bed. “Wait.” He rolled off the mattress and pulled some clothes out of the laundry basket. “PJs.” He thrust them at Fitz. “Or you could sleep in the nude.” Ward said as he cuddled back down under the comforter. His eyes stayed on Fitz as the smaller man undressed and pulled on the t-shirt and soft sweatpants. Ward reached out to pull him back onto the bed. Fitz overbalanced, landing awkwardly on top of the former soldier. “Good.” Ward manhandled him easily into a better position, kissed him gently, and then flung the blankets over them both.

~~~~~~

**Grant Ward**

Ward woke up with the warmth of another person against his side and the slightly-hungover feeling of an adrenaline crash. He turned over to stare down at the curly brown hair and the lanky body that was cuttle-fished around him. Carefully he extricated himself from the embrace and went to the bathroom. Fitz was still sleeping when he returned. Ward settled back into the warm cocoon of the blankets.

Two hours later, he woke to Fitz’s hand curved lightly around his hip. It had been months since anyone had touched him below the waist and his cock was taking a very avid interest in that hand.

Fitz woke with a startled motion, hand slipping over Ward’s waist to make brief, but very real contact with the hard member. The scientist froze and Ward curled in on himself. He jerked when the same warm hand brushed against his cheek. He opened his eyes to find Fitz staring down at him with a smile. Leo raised his eyebrows questioningly, his hand moving further down under the blanket.

Fuck it. Ward nodded, too desperate to consider how terrible an idea this was.

Smiling wider, Fitz moved to lay over him, his slender body feeling almost weightless. He bent down for a kiss and Ward eagerly reciprocated.

The kiss ended too soon but then Fitz’s long fingers were exploring the edge of his boxers. He bucked again, wanting so much more contact than he was getting. “Leo! Please, m-” He swallowed the next word and substituted it, “Please move. Please.”

~~~~~~

**Leo Fitz**

Gently, Leo rubbed the cloth over Ward’s groin. As the man began to beg, he added more pressure. Finally, he pulled his lover's penis out of the restraining clothing. His own cock was already hard when he removed the last of his clothes. He rocked his hips forward and wrapped a hand around both organs.

Ward was gasping as he added a hand to help Fitz encircle both their cocks. The feel of skin on skin soothed them both. Ward’s precum eased the friction and soon both men were thrusting. Leo’s hips moved faster while he pulled Ward into a deep kiss. The soldier threw his head back and spilled his slick seed over their hands. Fitz followed moments behind.

With a firm hand around Grant’s wrist, Fitz led them into the bathroom. He started the shower and crowded into the small space with Ward, taking advantage of their closeness and nakedness to truly examine the man’s physique. He pressed against Ward’s back and used soapy hands to rub up and down Ward’s chest.

The taller man spun around to demand another kiss and let his gaze fully take in the slender body in front of him. Neither was young enough to be hard again so soon but there was no doubt in Fitz’s mind that they both would be, soon enough.

“Want to go to today’s workshop?” Ward asked as he washed his hair.

Fitz nodded. He couldn’t remember what it was about but it didn’t really matter. He watched Ward finish up and then leave the shower. Grimacing, he completed his own shower rituals.

“Let’s stop by your place and get you some clean clothes.” Ward said through the doorway.

Fitz really wanted to drag Ward into the bedroom, spank his ass until it was red, and then fuck him senseless. He had no idea how to bring this up with a man who was probably too scarred or too scared to be in that type of relationship.

Still grimacing, he pulled on his clothes from the day before and silently promised himself that he’d get laid soon, whether it was with Ward or someone from the club.


	7. Chapter 7

**Leo Fitz**

He was ready to bang his head against a wall until all feelings for Grant Ward were eradicated. He hadn’t been able to convince himself to have a quick fling from the club. They’d never discussed it, but he was pretty sure that Ward considered them as monogamous as he did.

 _\-- Don’t look at me like that! --_ He told Skye as she rolled her eyes at him.

“You’re being stupid. I thought you said everything was good.”

 _\-- A month of handjobs and kissing on the couch is great. It’s just not enough. --_ He didn’t add the blowjob he’d given two nights ago. Ward had clearly enjoyed it at the time and then spent the next day avoiding him.

This time the look she gave him was close to murderous. “How can you be so smart and such a fucking moron at the same time? You need to talk to him. Find out what he wants and needs from this relationship. If all he wants to do is kiss and occasionally touch you, you have to figure out if you can make that be ‘enough.’”

His heart sank. It wouldn’t be enough. He knew that about himself. He needed more from a relationship than that. Everything else was wonderful. They got along well, could disagree without immediately starting a fight, enjoyed one another’s company, and still managed a professional work relationship. But lately, all Fitz could think about was the box of unused items sitting at the back of his closet, waiting to be used on a pliant and willing sub.

Skye smacked him upside the head. “Figure yourself out. And talk to him. If you don’t, I’m going to call Maria and tell her you’re backsliding.”

_\-- I’m not backsliding. --_

She looked down her nose at him and Fitz wondered, not for the first time, how such a strong personality could be so willing to submit to May and Jemma. “You’re not taking care of yourself and you’re not expressing yourself in a healthy way. Talk to Ward, call Maria, hell, get drunk with Clint, but do something about your situation soon.” She left the _or else_ hanging in the air.

~~~~~~

**Grant Ward**

Grant was physically banging his head against a wall. He didn’t look up until May cleared her throat.

May’s eyebrows went up. “What is going on with you two?” 

Ward shrugged. “I have no idea. I know that we’re dating; we go to the workshops together, we eat out afterwards, we go to the club on Thursday. I know Fitz wants more and I--” he paused, considering the situation, “and I could be ready for… that.” 

She nodded. “He’s a dom. Almost exclusively. I don’t know what you’re looking for but you should know that he doms.” 

"I know." Ward admitted. "He has this habit of signing 'good' when one of the techs does what he asks. He's done it to me too. It's such a dom thing to do." 

"And you're okay with this?" 

Ward didn't immediately answer. He looked haunted before shaking himself. "I'm okay with him being a dom, yes." 

May didn't want to pry but she was concerned. "Ward..." 

He gave her a small smile. "It's all fine. Don't worry about it. I’ve been meeting with Maria. She knows what’s going on. I just need to talk to him.”

She nodded but it was difficult for her not to have misgivings. She cared about both men and wasn’t ready to handle the fallout of a relationship gone bad.

***

Ward: **Can I come over tonight?**

He knew it was better to have this conversation with Fitz in the other man’s apartment so that he could leave if it went badly. It was likely that he wouldn’t have the strength to kick the other man out if he was too busy panicking.

“I’m ready for this.” He reminded himself. “Maria knows him and I want this. It’s okay. I’m okay. We’ll be okay.”

Fitz: **I would like that.**

He emailed Maria: **I’m talking to Fitz tonight.**

One of the members of Red Team came to find him for their next set of testing and Ward was busy for the rest of the day. He got out of work late and went straight to Fitz’s.

The man was making a salad and pointed to the chicken in a pan on the stove. Ward immediately checked on it and scooped some of the bubbling sauce over the browning pieces. He grinned to himself at the domesticity of this scene. He was really, truly happy with the way they interacted. He just needed this one last thing to be completely comfortable.

He turned to see Fitz watching him with a similar smile. “Chicken’s almost done.” He said instead of thinking about the next step in their sexual relationship. Fitz handed him the plates and turned back to the salad.

“Hey, Fitz?”

The man spun around. When Ward hesitated, he frowned.

“We need to talk.” _\-- We need to talk. --_ They said simultaneously.

Fitz gave a crooked grin. _\-- Food and talking. --_ He brought the plates to the table.

Ward’s heart was beating hard against his ribs. He trembled a little as adrenaline kicked his fight or flight reflex into high drive. Warm hands covered his around the salad bowl he’d picked up. Fitz leaned in for a kiss. His eyes promised that this would all be okay. Ward wanted to sink into that reassuring gaze. He wanted to curl up in the calm affection of Fitz’s smile. His reaction must have been more obvious than he’d meant because Fitz smiled wider and nodded.

_\-- You’re seeing Maria? --_ Fitz signed. 

“Yes. She says that I’m ready, if I want to be.” It couldn’t possibly be this easy.

_\-- Do you want to be? --_

Oh god. Did he? Was he? “I- Yes, I want to be. I just don’t know if I am. Shit. I prefer to sub. Did I mention that? I just- I don’t want to mess up what we have. And I’m really messed up. Really, really messed up.”

Fitz was quiet for a moment but he never took his eyes off Ward and was nodding slowly. _\-- Slow down. Let’s talk about this. Why don’t you sign for me instead of just talking? --_

Okay. He could do that. He could think through the signs for what he wanted to say. It would force him to distill his thoughts into some sort of clarity. _\-- May says you like to dominate. --_ He watched Fitz provide the ASL for dominant. _\-- So you’re a dom? -- ___

_\-- Yes. --_ Fitz paused. _\-- She says you knew that. --_

Ward couldn’t help the nervous giggle that escaped him. Trust May to be working both sides of whatever this was. _\-- I guessed. --_

_\-- Are you okay with that? --_

He laughed again. _\-- You take good care of me already. --_

A small amount of Fitz’s frustration came through as he signed. _\-- But not sexually. --_

“No!” Ward shouted. “I mean, that’s not what I meant!” The disappointed look Fitz gave his hands reminded Ward that he was supposed to be signing. His breath caught in his throat. If that was Fitz’s stern face, it was both arousing and terrifying. _\-- I love our time together. I haven’t felt so calm in a long time. It just isn’t enough. --_

_\-- What do you need? --_

“How do you sign sub-space?” Ward asked.

Fitz considered that question. It was likely that no such sign existed. _\-- When was the last time you went deep? --_

 _\-- A few months before moving out here. --_ Ward admitted.

_\-- How often would you like to go down? --_

It was clear to Ward that Fitz was trying to work out which signs he liked best to convey the concept. Ward concentrated on eating the food on his plate instead of answering. If he answered honestly, it could easily scare away this amazing man. The sound of knuckles rapping again the table made him look up.

_\-- Please answer the question, Ward. I want to give you what you need. I really, really like you. Please don’t run away from me. --_

Ward realized suddenly that Fitz was as nervous as he was. The dom was also trying to keep from scaring him away. The revelation made him smile. He grabbed his plate and moved around the small round table to sit next to Fitz. “I’m not running away. Let’s eat. We’ll talk more about this after dinner.” He was rewarded with a surprised grin and Fitz’s leg shifting to rest against his.

~~~~~~

**Leo Fitz**

Fitz’s first thought was that Maria would be very proud of Ward. His second thought was that he truly hoped they were compatible because, in that moment, Ward was the sexiest man he’d ever met. He wanted a relationship that wasn’t full-time D/S and Ward had just shown that he could take control of a situation when necessary. At work, that competence was both necessary and appreciated. At home, it was downright sexy. If, together, they could find a balance between their sexual, work, and romantic relationships, this could be the best thing to happen to both of them.

He let himself rest against Ward, even though it made eating a little awkward. They finished in a charged silence that neither was quite willing to break; Fitz because he had no intention of speaking and Ward because he didn’t want to pull away from the contact to see whatever Fitz signed.

Fitz cleared away the plates and then insisted they sit down to complete their talk. _\-- How often would you like to have submissive experiences? And how often would you like them to include passive-space?--_ He asked again.

Ward smiled at the made-up word and then sobered. He signed as he spoke. “When we are doing anything intimate I like for my partner to be in control.” He admitted. “I miss sub-space a lot. I feel… unsettled without it. I’ve been fantasizing about you taking me down.”

The curly-haired man frowned slightly. _\-- You didn’t answer the question. --_ He let his expression soften. _\-- I’ve been thinking about you, as well. --_

“A few times a week, maybe? Depends on how I feel. I don’t know. I just _need_!”

Fitz recognized the desperate frustration that came pouring out of Ward. He felt it too, in a different way; one in which he just wanted to take control of everyone and everything. _\-- We can work together to give you what you need. Tell me about your past. --_

Ward flinched. “I can’t, Fitz. Please. I just can’t. It’s hard. I was abused. Maria knows. She says I can start a relationship if I want to. Please just… just say you’ll respect my limits and that we’ll start slow? Please?”

Fitz had no idea what compelled him to nod and agree. He would never, in any normal situation, be willing to work with a previously abused sub without more information than he’d been given. _\-- Fine. Let’s start with your limits. --_

He could feel Ward’s eyes on him as he pulled a yellow notepad from his bag. Together they filled out their kinks, limits, and fantasies. By the time they were done, the sun had gone down and both men were squirming with arousal.

“Oh god, Fitz. Can you please just- I don’t know- kiss me? Touch me? I’m so turned on just thinking of you with a paddle and pulling my hair as you spank my ass.”

They’d agreed that nothing more intense than their usual intimacy would occur that evening. Both needed time to think. Besides, they both knew that Maria would flay them alive if she learned that they’d played that evening. Neither was interested in that.

Fitz wanted to make Ward beg for more; wanted to break him apart and put him back together. He swung himself around to straddle the man and swallowed the moan with a deep kiss. He ground down on the straining erection until Ward nearly threw him off his lap.

Still grinning, Fitz helped Ward unbutton his pants and pull them down far enough to give Leo the access he wanted.

“Please!” Ward whimpered. “Want it so bad. Please!”

Fitz knew exactly where to touch his desperate boyfriend. He pressed his thumb against the throbbing vein that ran up the beautiful cock. Ward keened.

“Yes!”

With his free hand, Fitz pulled at the fingers that were grasping his waist. He directed the hand around to his own pants and continued to distract the man with his intimate strokes.

“Fitz!”

The scientist laughed. Ward was having the hardest time getting the button and zipper undone because every time he got close, Fitz would roll the man’s ball in his hand.

Finally successful, Ward lifted Fitz’s torso with his strong hands and let him pull down his pants. He looked up to see Fitz’s pleased grin. “You like that I’m stronger than you?”

Fitz did. He truly did. He nodded and leaned forward for a kiss. They continued to kiss as their hands found the rhythms that the other liked. They were soon panting against one another, too turned on to make this last. Almost simultaneously, they tensed and found their release.

~~~~~~

**Grant Ward**

Ward sent a long email to Maria the next day, outlining the discussion he’d had with Leo. She insisted that he call her as soon as he had time.

“You didn’t tell him about your past abuse?” The camera on the StarkPad showed that she was frowning. “He deserves to know. At least in broad terms.”

“I told him in broad terms.”

“You told him you’d been abused. That’s not enough, Grant.” She sighed. “Leo is a good guy. If you’re not more honest, you risk losing him.” She paused. “Did you discuss when you would move forward with the physical relationship?”

“This weekend. We wanted to time to think about it.”

She smiled. “That’s very responsible.”

“Fitz insisted.” Ward admitted.

Her smile broadened. She could imagine exactly how that had played out. She also recognized it for the controlling technique that it was. Ward would be desperate by that time; the promise of what he needed was so close but out of his grasp until Fitz gave it to him. It was never the scientist’s cleverness and ability to control a sub that had brought him to her. She just hoped he could remember to communicate his own needs properly and not get so caught up in providing for his sub that he forgot himself.

Maria nodded, “I’ll talk to you Friday. Call or text if you want to talk before that.”

Ward said his goodbyes and ended the call.

~~~~~~

**Leo Fitz**

"Get undressed." 

Fitz's voice surprised Ward. He startled slightly, looking up at the dom. 

The man was smiling gently. "I only speak in sessions. I believe I mentioned that." 

Ward shuddered at the sound of each word as Fitz said it. He looked blissed out just from the words themselves. “I love your accent. When I first heard you speak I-” He shrugged. “No one had told me that you were Scottish.”

“You got that from three words?” Fitz remembered the look Ward had given him after he’d shouted.

“It’s a very distinctive accent. Considered one of the hardest in the world to mimic.” Ward pointed out. He smiled. “Talk about dom-voice!”

Oh yes, Fitz was going to enjoy working with this man. “I believe I told you to undress.”

He grinned as he began removing his pants. "Yes, sir." 

Fitz watched silently. Ward had obviously perfected the efficient but sexy strip tease. Fitz couldn't find fault with the way the man obeyed but was simultaneously impressed by how sensuous he made the process. 

"Well done." 

An aroused tremor passed through the now-naked man. Fitz noted the reaction with a small nod. Ward would respond well to his style of control and domination. 

Ward shivered a little in the cool room. Being naked in front of Fitz for the first time as a sub added to his anxiety. 

"Go sit on the bed. We'll confirm your limits. I'll let you choose tonight's toys." 

Ward obeyed. 

Fitz opened a drawer and pulled out the first item. "Paddling?" 

"Yes, sir. Ass, cock, thighs. I can handle it." 

Fitz nodded. He enjoyed the paddle. He pulled out a small box, "Nipple clamps?" 

Ward hesitated and Fitz immediately moved to put away the box. 

"No, no, it's just that my nipples aren't sensitive until I've orgasmed. Putting the clamps on before that just makes me numb. Most doms don't like that. Pulling on them or tightening the clamps won't help; I'm just not sensitive until I've cum once or twice." 

Fitz approached him and deposited a quick kiss against his temple. "That is very good information for me to have. Thank you." 

The sad look in Ward's eyes melted away; he hadn't disappointed the man. He smiled tentatively. "You're welcome, sir." 

"Plugs and vibrators?" Fitz moved directly into his next question. 

"Love them as long as I have enough prep." 

"When was the last time you wore a plug for more than an hour?" Fitz wanted to know. 

The blush that rushed from Ward's chest up his face made Fitz very anxious to hear the answer. "Almost every Saturday or Sunday night, sir." 

"After we spend the day together?" What a lovely revelation, Fitz thought. 

"Yes, sir." He couldn't look at Fitz. 

"Ward." The voice was just a touch harder. 

"Sir?" The sub glanced up and then back down to his lap. 

"Ward." Fitz was clearly moving towards full dom-voice. 

He looked up again, afraid to see anger in the blue eyes. His breath caught; Fitz wasn't frowning, he didn't look upset at all. "Yes, sir?" 

"Can you tell me why you answered my question honestly if it causes you so much embarrassment?" 

He hadn't expected that question at all. "You asked it, sir. But I, ummm, I didn't know how you'd feel about me masturbating and getting off on our time together. I'm sorry." 

"Don't be sorry. I always want honesty. I value it in my relationships." 

"Yes, sir." He tried to offer Fitz a smile but it fell a little flat. 

"Good. Thank you." He put the plugs he was holding down and picked up a flogger. 

Fitz was pleased by how quickly and easily Ward could describe his comfort with whips, electricity, sounding, and various other kinks. Their limits, thus far, were well matched and confirmed what Ward had told him a week ago. Ward said no to a few items which Fitz had added as afterthoughts. It wasn't surprising that someone with military training would find blindfolds uncomfortable. 

"You're doing very well, Ward." He pulled out one of the last items. "Gags?" 

Ward's eyes went wide and wild. He rolled across the bed, taking his clothes with him while saying, "Red. Red. Red." He made for the door, body hunched as if expecting gunfire in his direction. 

Fitz hadn't moved since the safe-word was spoken. He stared at the frantic man in shock. 

"Ward?" 

The sub spun in complete surprise, clearly not expecting Fitz to be standing there. "Oh god. Fitz." Some of the fear leaked away from his stance. "I- oh - I think I should go. This isn't going to work." It was obvious that the words hurt to say. 

"Of course we can stop. But perhaps I can get an explanation? You didn't tell me that gags were a hard limit. I'm very, very sorry to have upset you." 

The man was dragging on his clothes. "I didn't think it would be so bad. We can't do this. I'll be a terrible sub for you. I should have known." 

Fitz frowned, "That's not true at all. We don't have to use gags, that doesn't make or break this interaction for me." 

"No, no, it's not just that. I can't handle gags because I talk constantly when I'm in a scene. _Constantly_. I, um, I told you that I was abused by my last dom. He didn't respect my safe-word. He hurt me. He kept me gagged and tied up for hours while he was at work. I couldn't get away. I-uh- I put him in the hospital with broken ribs, arms, nose, and jaw. Commander Fury is the only one who knows about that. He got me out of there and set me up in his unit until I could get back on my own two feet." Ward was breathing hard. 

Fitz stayed quiet. 

"But it's worse than that." Ward said. 

Fiitz couldn't see how. 

"I can't keep quiet, now. I thought talking to Maria would help but I can tell that it hasn't. I still crave being dominated but I'll describe everything that's happening while it happens. I can't shut up. It's my defense mechanism. It's how I convince myself that I'm okay; that I understand what's happening to me." 

Ward had always been vocal when they were touching each other intimately. It had never bothered Fitz. The dom nodded, "That makes sense." 

"So I should go." Ward made for the door. 

"You should only go if you want to'" Fitz said, "I don't want you to leave. Nothing you've said changes my desire to scene with you." 

Ward stared, "I don't think you understand, si-- Fitz. You're so quiet and controlled and I will babble constantly. You like the quiet. I will drive you crazy. Sometimes I talk so much that I miss orders. I'll say things you don't want to hear. I lose control over my filter when I go too deep. It isn't pretty. One of the dommes I worked with after the... incident, said she couldn't work with me anymore because I gave her a headache." 

Fitz hated the unnamed woman with a furious passion. 

"Ward, can I touch you?" He accepted the nod of permission. Fitz led the larger man back to the bed, gently caressing his back. "Relax, we're just going to spend some time together, okay?" 

Grant took in a shuddering breath, "I'd like that."

“Did you wear the plug today?” Fitz asked as he started a massage.

“Yes, s- Fitz.”

“You can call me sir.” He kissed his way down the broad back. “I’m going to keep touching you. I want to hear you talking to me.”

Ward gave a shaky laugh. “Fitz, you don’t have to do this. It’s okay. I should call Maria.”

“Talk to me, love.” Fitz insisted.

“Oh god. That’s the first time you’ve called me love.”

“I do love you.”

Ward’s breath came in short gasps. “I can’t believe this is the first time you’re admitting that.” He bit down on the blanket as Fitz’s skillful hands pressed down against the muscles of his lower back. “Oh god. Right there. Feels so good. I love massages. Keep going. Thank you. Yes. Oh. You’re touching my ass.”

Fitz hesitated.

“Don’t stop! Please, sir, don’t stop. I’m sorry. I’m sorry!”

Fitz realized his mistake immediately. “Don’t apologize, Grant. You’re wonderful. I won’t stop until you ask me to. I trust you. I love hearing you.” He realized he could use Ward’s continuous speech to his advantage. Grinning, he moved his hands down to cup the tight ass.

“Your hands are so warm. Yes, please. There. Keep going. Grab me. Open me up. I’m ready. Yes. This feels so good. Please, sir.”

“This is perfect.” Fitz whispered against his ears. “I’ll give you exactly what you want. Just you wait.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's the end of that. :) Further stories in this universe in the future... perhaps?


End file.
